Fathers that belittle and sabotage their daughters, the young girls they were supposed to encourage, love, and protect, are Narcissists!
Daughters of narcissistic fathers tend to be subject to hypercriticism and high standards that they are rarely able to ‘fulfill’ no matter how hard they try. As a result, they can turn to self-sabotaging behaviors and struggle with a stable sense of identity and confidence,
Daughters of narcissistic fathers have their sense of self eroded and annihilated in childhood. The daughter of a narcissist can develop a fragmented identity made of the very parts the narcissistic father strove to erace as well as the part he ‘installed’ within her through cruel insults, belittling, reprimands, and a hyperfocus on the flaws to make her doubt her abilities, assets, and capacities.
She is taught to second-guess her self at every turn and to excessively scrutinize herself in her talents, her appearance, her potential, and her aspirations. She is also ‘programmed’ to self-destruct in relationships and sometimes even her own goals because she does not develop the sense of worthiness early on that prevents her from reenacting the same troubles and traumas she endured in childhood.
If you are a daughter of a narcissistic parent, you were rarely celebrated for who you truly are and what you could accomplish; instead, you were forced to meet impossible, arbitrary and ever-shifting goal posts that instilled in you a pervasive sense of worthlessness.
It is no surprise that narcissistic parents exploit the accomplishments of their children only to bolster their own egos; anything the narcissistic father praised about he intended to do in the presence of a witness. Yet in private he may have been controlling and abusive towards you, and those who tried to protect you.
He may have trampled upon your dreams, your goals, and aspirations, especially if they were not ones he wanted to see you achieving. Or, even if you did follow in his footsteps and expectations, he may have still made you feel as if you were falling short of his standard – never quite being ‘good enough’ to meet any arbitrary criteria he threw your way.
As a result, daughters of narcissistic fathers can fall into defeatist attitudes about accomplishing goals. They may even go the other route entirely and develop an excessive perfectionist demeanor that drives them to be number one at all cost.
Their drive towards an illusion of perfection can easily turn into an unhealthy obsession that affects their mental health as well as self-esteem.
Find out how to really THRIVE after a father’s narcissistic abuse!